Victor had already sent off his mates, and Gillian was next in line.
Because of you, Im also missing out I wont make it to the birthday party! And I want to go! Gillian snapped.
Whats the problem? Victor asked. Laura and Greg are our mutual friends family friends, you know, the sort of people you both know.
Exactly! Gillian flared. How does that look? They invited us both and Im the only one turning up! What am I supposed to say?
You could be honest and tell them you simply dont feel like going. Not just to them, but anywhere at all.
Or you could claim youve chilled your back again and are crawling around the house like a wilted plant. Thats halftrue my back does ache, so its a perfect alibi.
Gillian stared at her husband, looking for a twinkle that would show he was joking. Victor, however, stayed deadserious, even a touch more gloomy than usual.
Victor, did something happen to you? Gillian asked.
No, he replied straight away. Where did you get that idea?
Weve always hung out with Greg and Laura. Its Gregs birthday and you dont want to go! Itll be a laugh, Victor!
Gillian, if you must, go on your own! You can spin any excuse you like just keep me alive! he added. And then you can tell me, Ill confirm it, Victor looked at his wife. Honestly, I just dont want to go. Id rather stay home
Then you didnt even go to Lauras birthday, Gillian mused. What about Katie and Andy? How long has it been since weve met up as families? Two years? No, three!
Ill say it again, Victor tilted his head, no one stopped you. You could have visited, gone on a picnic, or dropped by Andys cottage. You simply didnt go.
Because going alone is indecent! Gillian exclaimed. What will people think of us as a family? If I show up solo, theyll assume were fighting!
I was ready to have a good time, so this isnt a fight, its a breaking point! Or will you be happy with gossip about us?
Believe me, I dont care, Victor smiled, Im utterly indifferent to whatever anyone thinks about us or about me in particular.
Gillian pondered his words. He was right who cares what strangers think? Yet the problem ran deeper than a simple social visit.
Victor, I wont argue with that, but can you tell me whats really going on with you? Youve changed so much lately that even I, your own wife, barely recognise you. It worries me.
What have I changed that makes you uneasy? Victor asked.
Your behaviour, Gillian replied. You avoid people, and you keep saying youd rather be alone in silence.
Thats not normal, Victor! Maybe youre ill?
Or maybe youve finally gotten better? Victor shot back.
***
Gillian had always believed they had a happy marriage. Isnt happiness just that any problem that pops up is easily solved because you face it together? A marriage where both partners share the budget, chores, social circles and everything else.
A family, even with a capital F, is a single organism living its life. Nothing could tarnish it.
Her relationship with her motherinlaw was splendid, and her fatherinlaw was a decent chap. In fact, Victors parents were always ready to lend a hand, often offering help before anyone even asked.
Victor and Gillians own parents got along famously too. Gillians mum started calling Victor son on day one.
Housing never became an issue. Two families pooled resources, shuffling a few rooms here and there, and in the end the young couple landed a lovely flat.
The car? No problem. When the first grandchild was on the way, the whole clan chipped in and bought a brandnew offroad SUV not some battered jalopy that had seen better days, but a proper fourbyfour fresh from the showroom.
Friends were plenty, relatives were close, and everyone seemed to gravitate towards Victor and Gillians sunny disposition.
They never had to call a plumber, electrician, builder or any other tradesperson. Their friends covered those gaps.
As the old song goes, If I fall ill I wont see the doctor Ill just rally the friends Among their mates were specialists for every eventuality.
In their own jobs, Victor and Gillian offered advice and assistance, not on a you scratch my back, Ill scratch yours basis, but more like a hand washes another hand.
The GillianVictor clan and their friends formed a lively, if not the tiniest, community. Every holiday, birthday, cultural event and even a simple weekend out was a shared affair sometimes intimate, sometimes grand, but never a solitary cage.
When life feels blissful, the years slip by unnoticed. Dates become weighty, some gripe, others brag about their first grey hair. Conversation drifts from light banter to serious topics like aches and how to cope with them.
The soul can stay forever youthful, but the body, unfortunately, does not.
Togetherness shifted from city pubs to country resorts and health retreats. Comfort became king, and with comfort, the fun kept rolling.
A gust of wind, like a gentle bell, stirred the usual routine.
Gillian, if you want, go on your own, Victor said, but Id rather stay home. Works a nightmare. I need some quiet, and Ill brush up on maths with Charlie.
Seriously? Gillian raised an eyebrow. Itll be a blast! A night with the gang and a proper break!
Gillian, youll have fun, but Ill be stuck with a sour mood, Victor forced a crooked grin. People will start asking whats wrong, and what do I say? That the boss cooked up another ridiculous project? Or that the roads been doing somersaults?
But you wont be upset if I go, will you? Gillian asked.
Not at all, his smile softened. Ill do a bit of maths with Charlie, watch a film, unwind. You enjoy yourself!
Later Victor asked himself, Why bother? He asked this every time another invitation arrived.
Going there means taking a taxi, being pushed into another drink, listening to the same old gossip, and then heading home late at night. At home there are already heaps of chores, a pounding headache in the morning, a pill, and thats it. Why not just make up a believable excuse, stay in, and avoid hurting anyone?
Gillian spent a while attending parties alone, but eventually it felt awkward everyone paired up, and she seemed like a lone wolf.
It wasnt that Victor had quarreled with anyone. He chatted when called, helped out whenever needed, and the same went the other way, especially with electrical or plumbing issues.
Even when Victor missed a childs birthday one day, the next morning his dad was in their flat changing the kitchen tap. Friends? Almost, but not quite.
Confused, Gillian turned to her mother for advice.
Talk to Victor, not me, her mother, Mrs. Ingram, said. His pulling away from everyone is a bad sign.
If a bloke starts courting solitude, hell keep at it until hes completely sunk.
What do you mean? Gillian asked.
Eventually youll become unnecessary to him an extra weight. You need to speak to him and find out why, Ingram replied. Men only take such drastic steps when things are already sour. Maybe Victors ill and hiding it, withdrawing from friends, cooling off with you, forgetting them altogether, then maybe even walking out.
He seems fine, though, Gillian stammered.
Or perhaps his interests have shifted entirely, Ingram gestured vaguely. Old friends, the family all pushed aside for new horizons.
The conversation had to happen, but a catalyst was needed. Victors refusal to attend Gregs birthday served that purpose.
Word for word
Gillian stared at Victor, surprised.
Dont think Im crazy, Victor said, but Ive been pondering what really matters in life. I realised the only thing we have in limited supply is time. Without it, theres nothing.
Isnt it a bit early to be mulling over time? Gillian asked.
You say early, I say late! Victor replied. Two years ago we buried my father.
He paused. Hes gone now. I thought, instead of trudging to a party, Id have spent that time with him sat, talked, or just sat in silence together. Now that chance is gone.
Fair enough, Gillian smirked. Thats life. Nobody lives forever, and we never know how much is allotted to each of us.
Alright, Victor nodded. I agree. Our parents arent eternal, and neither are we. Our son, Charlie, will grow up, start his own family, and then he wont have time for us either.
Instead of splashing two months wages on Andys bonus, Id rather chase a football with Charlie in the garden. It matters more, really.
Gillian mused, True.
Victor frowned. We waste time on trivialities while the truly important things slip by. We should be with family, with our parents, with our kids!
Gillian fell silent.
Instead of Gregs birthday, Id rather watch a film with you, cook dinner, chat about something pleasant. Spend a night together as a family, maybe even play a game of Loto with Charlie!
Gillian didnt go to Gregs party. She rang him to wish him happy birthday, then spent the evening with Victor. The next day they visited Victors mum, then Gillians parents after lunch.
That felt far more valuable than any random friends gathering.
Its a shame to waste time on frivolities when the things that truly matter often lack that very time.