Dear Diary,
Mamas wings have always been my shelter, yet today they felt like a weight I could no longer bear.
Emily, is this really how you act? my mother demanded over the phone, her voice sharp as a winter wind. Jack loves you. Hes been making plans, you both even talked about moving in together. And you throw it all away over a single joke, leaving him no chance whatsoever.
I tried to defend myself. Mrs. Thompson, I already gave him a chance. You heard what he said to me, didnt you? He spoke right in front of you
The line crackled, then a sterile voice announced, Subscriber unavailable or out of service area. I hung up, steadied my trembling hand, and dialed another number.
It wasnt the most sensible move to bother an elderly neighbour at three in the morning, but when the man whod never been seen out late or at any unscheduled gathering didnt answer his frontdoor at that hour, I knew something was wrong. Only family could step in now, and I wasnt even counted among them.
Jack and I had only moved in together a month ago. We hadnt registered our relationship, and I had no idea how to involve the authorities. When I asked a friend what she thought, she said plainly: Youre not his wife, so you cant do much. If Mother started digging, that would be another story entirely.
The phone rang immediately. Before I could speak, a voice from the other end asked someones name. It was Jacks mother, distracted for a heartbeat, answering her son, then turning back to me.
Who is this? she asked.
Mrs. Thompson? Its Emily, Jacks girlfriend. Is he there? Could you put him on the line? Its three in the morning and hes not home. Im starting to worry
The moment Jacks voice crackled through, the line filled with his usual calm. Speak, love. Whos calling?
Its me. Jack, whats happening? You could have at least told me you were staying over at your mums or that youd switched off your phone.
I told him I was losing my mind, fearing something terrible had befallen him. He laughed it off. Nothings wrong, Emily. Im just fed up with you. Im moving to York, dont call me again. Ive taken my things; sort out the flat yourself.
He hung up. I sat on the edge of the bed, mouth open, the phone still pressed to my ear, trying to process the sudden blow. Theyd dumped me, as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world. It wasnt shocking; after all, wed only lived together for a month. Deep down Id expected a line like, I think were not right for each other, sorry. I even imagined his quirksthrowing dirty socks under the pillow, an odd fascination with a green garden gnomemight be the dealbreakers.
Every past breakup of mine had come with a proper conversation, a clear sign that we could move on. This, however, was my first time being abandoned over a strangers handset with no warning at all. For three weeks I roamed the city with my best friend, Kate, trying to piece together theories.
Maybe he was scared youd slam the door or start a fight? Kate suggested.
Who? Me? I laughed, remembering my nickname Halfpint and the fact I weighed only 45kg. Fighting a man twice my size and a foot taller seemed absurd.
Even if you were scared, he could have arranged a public meeting or at least answered his own phone. She added, Or sent a textif youre stingy about the cost of a message, just use one of the three messenger apps we both have.
Kate wrinkled her nose. Breaking up by text isnt very ladish.
So what we got, then? Ladish? No explanation, no proper goodbye, just a cold disconnect. I muttered, feeling the words fail me. I dont even know what I did wrong.
Kate sighed, No matter what you did, you cant outpower Mother Nature. She then urged me, Forget him. Think about how little you actually gave him. How long were you together?
One month of living together, another month of dating.
Honestly, its nothing. The flat was so cheap he probably took it out of your hands himself.
It isnt my flat, its a rental.
But you liked it, didnt you? You bragged about it when you first moved in.
If I hadnt been stuck in that cramped council block, Id have found a better place even if I paid rent myself. I admitted.
Exactly. Without a solid reasonwere moving in together, its inconvenient for him to stay in the cityId never have left that flat. And Id never have moved out psychologically either.
Kate smiled, See? something good can come from this mess. Well find you a proper bloke, dont worry. Thats what friends are for.
A week later I went on a date with Tom, a brother of an acquaintance. He wasnt a marriage prospect, but he was pleasant enough for a night out.
Returning with a bunch of flowers, I was startled to see Jack emerge from the stairwell by the postboxes.
Whoa! Did I scare you? he teased.
Where on earth are you? I snapped, halflaughing.
Its a long story. By the way, whats with the broom? he asked, gesturing at the flowers.
Its a gift from my new guy. You dumped me, didnt you? Said something about a dissociative episode and forgot what you told my mother on the phone.
Emily, are you serious? I was only joking! I just needed to spend a few weeks with my family.
Couldnt you have left a note or sent a message? You know if you tell someone youre leaving, they stop hoping.
If Id just vanished, youd have called me every day for two weeks. I wanted peace and quiet.
My mum used to tell me how she ran away at thirteen and stayed with my grandma. Same old story.
I wasnt Jacks mother, and I certainly didnt think a twentysomething could behave like a thirteenyearold. So I sent him on his way, back to a remote village in Peru, and later his poor mother showed up at my door demanding answers.
My dear, can you really do this? Jack loved you, made plans, you were moving in together. And you throw it all away over a joke, giving him no chance.
Mrs. Thompson, I already gave him a chance. You heard what he said, didnt you? He was speaking right in front of you
He said it, he joked badly. Everyone has quirks; that doesnt make someone secondrate, does it?
Im not sorting people, Im living my life. I dont need a man who creates chaos.
I understand you think your son is the best, but most of the women I know, myself included, wont tolerate that.
A loving woman accepts a partner as he is, with strengths and flaws.
Good luck to Jack in his search.
Emily, he does love you. Think of his feelings.
I began to see why Jack seemed stuck under his mothers wing. Hed been conditioned to think the world revolved around him, while everyone else should bend to his will. Life, however, works differently, and Jack will have to learn that the hard way.
In any case, I wasnt about to inherit his problems, and I told his prospective motherinlaw just how I felt, sending Jack back to that Peruvian hamlet to chase after his beloved son.
Five years on, now married to Stuart, I hear from mutual friends that Jack still lives with his mum, hasnt found a suitable partner, and blames everyone but himself. He never learned the lesson. Perhaps thats for the bestsome families are better left unstarted.