20October
I returned to Ashford after the term, eager for a quiet weekend back in the village where I grew up. The moment I stepped through the front door, a knock sounded at the entryway. Standing there was Aunt Margaret, my fathers sister, who had arrived unexpectedly.
Sophie Bennett and I had been classmates at secondary school, and people often said we were practically cousins because our fathers were said to be secondcousins once removed. In truth, the connection was tenuous a distant branch of the family tree. Though our families lived in the same village, Sophie and I never really became friends.
After we finished school, both of us secured places at the university in Birmingham. My parents were proud: Emma, youll become an economist, they said, while Sophies folks boasted, Shell be a solicitor. Neither of us had relatives in the city, so I planned to live in halls. Yet at the end of August Sophies parents offered to split a onebedroom flat for the two of us.
Weve already found a good place not far from the campus, Sophies mother announced. Its furnished, has a fridge and a washing machine. Well bring the rest of the bits ourselves. Its far better than a dormitory.
My parents thought it over and agreed, and Sophie seemed fine with the arrangement. Neither of us was messy, so the flat stayed tidy; we took turns cooking and never quarreled over chores. Our parents alternated monthly visits, bringing fresh vegetables and other supplies.
The first year passed smoothly. Both of us achieved firstclass results and earned a higher stipend, paid in pounds, which helped with the rent.
When the summer break ended and we returned to Birmingham, Sophie fell in love. Her boyfriend, Michael Hart, was also a law student, now in his fourth year and still living in halls. As November grew cold, the two of them began spending more evenings in the flat that our parents were paying for.
I didnt like it.
Emma, please be quiet and dont tell our parents, Sophie begged one night. I warned her, Make sure Michael is out by eleven; Im going to bed then. Sophie usually kept her promise, but one night, after I had fallen asleep, she let Michael slip back in. I woke to find them both asleep on the sofa.
The argument that followed was fierce.
My parents are covering the rent, I said. I wont share a room with a stranger. If Michael keeps staying, Ill move back to the halls.
Sophie retorted, Youve never been in love, so you cant understand how much we want to be together all the time!
I suggest you ask Michaels parents to contribute half the rent, then you can live together, I replied.
He only has his mother, who already sends him whatever she can. She cant afford extra rent, Sophie explained.
Its not my problem, I said. I just want to feel comfortable in my own flat, and your boyfriends constant presence makes me anxious.
Sophie countered, Other girls from our group still drop by once or twice a week, not from Friday night until Sunday evening. I then proposed, Let Michael visit twice a week and stay only from Saturday night to Sunday morning, since youre away on weekends anyway.
No more than that! I insisted.
Sophie warned, Dont tell your parents, or theyll find out from mine.
December came, and I passed my exams, packed my books, and headed home to prepare for the upcoming winter assessments. Sophie stayed behind, telling her parents that the exam timetable was inconvenient. At the local supermarket, Sophies mother, Natalie Bennett, ran into me and asked why I could go home for the holidays while Sophie could not.
Its because were on different faculties, Natalie replied. Law has more coursework and exams than economics, so Sophie rarely gets the chance to travel home.
I wanted to point out the unfairness, but I remembered my promise to Sophie and kept quiet. Why should I interfere in someone elses life? I thought.
Back in Birmingham after the holidays, I discovered the flat had been rearranged. Sophies sofa had been pushed to the far wall and hidden behind a large wardrobe, while my bed had been moved closer to the window, creating a small private zone for her and a larger area for the rest of the furniture.
Did you ask the landlord before doing this? I asked.
Yes, he didnt object. He only asked us to put everything back when we move out, Sophie answered.
I understood why: Michael would now spend more nights here than we had originally agreed.
I faced a dilemma. I could tell my parents, but that would spark a huge fightSophie would be banned from bringing Michael over, and our relationship would be ruined for the rest of the year. I could try to move into the halls now, but a place wouldnt be available until the next academic year. So I decided to wait until summer, reminding Sophie now and then that Michael shouldnt be living with us.
In midMarch Sophie called to tell me she and Michael were planning to marry and that she was pregnant.
Will you finally tell your parents about Michael? I asked.
No, not yet. Well move in with his mother first, set a wedding date, then inform my parents, she replied.
What will you do with your studies if you have a baby in the autumn? I pressed.
I dont know. Maybe Mum will help, or Ill take a maternity leave. After Michael gets his degree well move to Londonthere are more opportunities there. Here in the countryside theres nothing moving forward.
In May, during the bank holiday, Michael went home alone, saying, My mum is ill, I need to look after her first. When she knows about us, well all come back together. Two weeks passed and he still hadnt returned. When Sophie called, he cut the conversation short, only mentioning his mothers illness. He finally came back on 20May, telling Sophie, Im not ready for a wedding. My mum needs me, I want to finish my exams early and go home to help her.
Sophie asked, What about me?
Ill sit my exams, then well figure it out. I have to speak to the dean about exam dates, he said before rushing off.
For the next two weeks they only met a few times, each encounter limited to a hallway.
When we finally finished the summer exams and I was about to leave for home, Michael appeared in the flat without warning.
Emma, could you give us a moment alone? he asked.
I turned back to find Sophie in tears.
He said his mother opposes the marriage, the child, everything. He wants to move to London for a masters and wont support the baby. He even said I wouldnt get child support, Sophie sobbed.
What a scoundrel! I exclaimed. Lets get out of here.
I helped Sophie pack her things, we hailed a taxi, and took a bus back to Ashford. At the village stop my parents were waiting. My father and mother greeted us, and my younger sister ran to hug me.
Before we could breathe, Natalie burst into the flat, furious.
How could you let this happen? We placed you two together to avoid exactly this! You saw it and stayed silent! You did this on purpose! she shouted.
My father intervened, Natalie, why are you accusing Emma? What exactly are you blaming her for?
Ask your daughter herself! Natalie snapped, then stormed out.
My parents turned to me, Emma, what happened?
I explained everything. My mother was surprised. Emma, Sophie is an adult; she knows what shes doing. Why should you take the blame for her choices?
My father asked, Is it really my daughters fault?
My only fault might be that I didnt tell you everything, I admitted. Sophie begged me not to say anything.
My mother asked, What will Sophie do now?
There arent many options left. I dont know how shell continue her studies.
In early November Sophie gave birth to a daughter. She took maternity leave, but her husband passed away a year later. Without a degree, she was forced to work as a checkout operator in a chain supermarket. Her mother, Natalie, ceased all contact with my parents and regarded me with open hostility whenever we met in town.
I, on the other hand, graduated with honours, married a fellow economics student, and took a job in the county towns council. We still visit my parents in Ashford regularly, keeping the family ties alive despite everything that has happened.